When they posted the winners a few days later I couldn’t believe it.
Jess M…that’s me!!
I actually e-mailed them to make sure I REALLY was the winner. There are a lot of other Jess’ in the world right??
A few days later these pretty white wallflowers arrived on my doorstop. How fun!
I so wished Cora was here. I wanted to rush up to her room and hang them right away. They would have been perfect. It’s funny how even winning something can make me miss Cora.
I think I am going to wait to hang them. If we have another little girl I think I will put them in the nursery. Joel didn’t think they were manly enough for a little boy. So, if we have a boy I will have to find another home for these pretty little flowers.
I’ll let you know where they end up.
Joel and I have led a small group for three years now.
We LOVE our group.
They are like family to us.
They have walked with us through some really tough stuff this year.
Every single one of them showed up at the hospital the night we checked Cora in to encourage and pray with us.
Someone from our group was at the hospital every day.
They are great!
Every summer we try to take a small group trip.
This year we headed to Table Rock Lake.
But this particular Saturday there was no sun.
The girls were too chicken to get in the cold water.
So, we spent the morning on the boats
bundled up in our towels watching the boys brave the lake.
Finally, it was warm enough to get in the water.
The afternoon was beautiful.
It was time to head back to the cabin to get ready for dinner.
And a little shopping for some.
It is a small group tradition now.
They have the BEST guacamole.
We are so thankful for this dear group of friends.
I am so sad for Joel today. I know that today is going to be extra hard for him and there is nothing I can do to make it better. I wish so much that Cora could be here today to celebrate this special day with her daddy.
Cora LOVED her daddy. She was definitely a daddy’s girl. I remember watching Joel interact with Cora and feeling like my heart could just explode. He loved her SO much…it was precious. I have so many sweet memories of Cora and her daddy that I will never forget. I know he won’t either.
I am so glad that the Lord chose Joel just for me and then for Cora too. I couldn’t think of a better daddy for my little girl. And I am so thankful that I will get to see him “feel” like a daddy again in January.
Happy Father’s Day to the daddy of a sweet angel and another one on the way!
My first appointment was a little over a week ago.
I was anxious for the day to arrive. I did ok until the morning of the appointment. That morning I wasn’t so great. I was a mess. I was so nervous and anxious and sad all at the same time. I knew I needed to just trust–sometimes that is SO hard! I spent some time with the Lord and tried to hand over all of my fears and emotions to Him. He has been so faithful to walk beside us this far and I knew He would be faithful to help us get through this day too.
I needed that time to just be quiet and listen to the Lord, but I still had this heaviness in my heart that we were moving forward without Cora. I felt horrible. I sat in her room for a while and just cried and cried. So many cherished memories ran through my head as I sat there. I remembered sitting in that very rocking chair in the middle of the night looking at my sweet baby and just being amazed that she was my daughter. I felt so blessed. Cora brought us such joy. Now another little baby was on the way and Cora wasn’t going to be with us to meet him/her. I know Cora will always be a huge part of our family. But, it is still so hard. I was really struggling to sort through the intense pain of loosing Cora and the joy of this new baby.
Joel was just as nervous as I was. We hadn’t been to a doctor’s office since Cora was with us. During our days in the hospital we always felt this huge pit in our stomachs when a doctor would walk into Cora’s room. That was such a horrible feeling. Each time we prayed that bad news wouldn’t come out of the doctor’s mouth. So often it did.
As we sat waiting for my doctor to come in I think we were both feeling that same pit. We were praying that we wouldn’t here bad news that day. We didn’t know if we could handle any more. We just wanted to hear the sound of a little heart beat. We needed to hear some good news.
The nurses and doctors were so gracious to us. The great thing about living in a small town is that they all knew about Cora. We didn’t have to explain anything. They understood and were so kind as tears rolled down our cheeks. They were wonderful!
And then we heard the amazing sound of our baby’s heartbeat. We needed to hear that so badly! We even got to take a peek at our new little one.
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
Everything looked great so far. I am 12 weeks along and January 2nd is my due date. We are so thankful for this new little life! I am feeling pretty good. Just tired. And very emotional on top of already being very emotional. I am grateful for my amazing and understanding husband. He is so patient with me.
Thanks for your many sweet comments. We loved reading them all! We feel so blessed to be loved and prayed for by so many.
So, this is the beginning of another new journey…
we will be clinging tightly to the Lord the whole way!