I didn’t think this day would ever come.
I didn’t think this day would ever come.
The day where I could say “I made it”.
My last day of work.
Today I re-read what I wrote in my journal back in April when I started this new job:
“Today I started a new job. It is only part time, I think it will be okay. But, I HATED driving to Newton knowing that I was going back to work. I cried the whole way. I felt like my heart was being crushed into a million pieces all over again. Why can’t I be a stay-at-home mom? Why can’t I raise Cora? Why did God take Cora from me? Now, I am driving to an office to be a receptionist–to force me to get out of bed and get dressed, to make the time pass. Just for a little while. I thought my purpose was to be a mom. What is my purpose now?
Well, it did go okay. I put my brave face on and made it through the morning without crying. The people there were so kind and helpful–many of them I know already. There is so much to learn and I feel so overwhelmed. Just overwhelmed with life in general. My mind still feels “foggy”. It is hard to concentrate. Lord, please give me the strength to make it through each day. Please, allow the time to pass quickly. Please, allow us to have more kids soon!”
When I started that job we were not expecting. I didn’t know how long I would need to work before the Lord would bless us with another child and I could go back to the job I love SO much–being a mom. I was struggling with so many things. I think I literally felt like I was drowning in my grief.
A friend shared this translation of Philippians 4:13 with me last week.
I am strong for all things in the One who constantly infuses strength in me.
I loved looking back at that journal entry today. I felt like finishing work today was a little step forward. A little glimpse of light in the darkness. And as I read my words from back in April I could see how the Lord has been, and continues to, constantly infuse strength in me.
I am so thankful that I don’t have to rely on my own strength.
I couldn’t make it through this on my own.
So today I am thankful for this little step forward.
I know there are still going to be many days of missing Cora.
Many days when I still can’t stop the tears.
Many days when I feel like I am taking steps backwards again.
He will help me get through those days too.
Today I am going to just celebrate that “I made it”. I can’t tell you how much I am looking forward to the days of being a stay-at-home mom again. It is getting closer!
Wow! Where do we start? It is impossible to thank everyone who was involved in the playground project. I so wish that we could. These are a few thanks that we shared the day of the dedication…
We can’t tell you how loved and supported it makes us feel to see all of you here today. God continues to pour out His love to us through the body of Christ.
There are so many people we could thank today. It is hard to know where to start. We wanted to take time to specifically thank a few:
Ben Hutton & Hutton Construction–general contractor
Joel, Jason, Eric & PG Playgrounds
House of Glass
Ian Johnson–designed Cora’s Playground sign
Joe & Kasa–sign
Exquisite Gifts & their helium company–balloons and helium
Evan LaRue–sound system for dedication
Julie & Heather along with MANY Etsy vendors
(Julie started the Etsy fundraiser with her messy flower pins. Many Etsy vendors joined her in raising money for Cora’s Playground. Heather stepped in to help organize the fundraising. It was so great to meet these two ladies in person! What a blessing to our family they have been.)
Sara–stickers for seed packets
Kris, Debbie, Janelle and the Grace Community Church Staff
Grace Community Church
Whether you donated your time and labor, gave to the project, or even prayed for our family, you all had a part in Cora’s Playground. Thank you.
Today is definitely bittersweet for us. Our hearts are heavy, as we would trade this playground to have Cora back with us in a second. While we don’t understand, it wasn’t part of God’s plan for Cora to be here today.
But the awesome part about today is being able to look back and see how God has worked so mightily in our lives and the lives around us through tragedy. We are so thankful to have this playground as a remembering stone for our family. Cora’s Playground will always serve as a reminder to us of our sweet Cora’s life and how purposeful her 341 days with us were. It will be a place that we can always bring our family and tell them of God’s love and faithfulness to us.
Thank you so much for being a part of that.
Most of all we just want to take time this afternoon to thank God for all He has done. Thank you for being here to join us in praising Him today.
On Sunday we gathered in the church parking lot to dedicate Cora’s Playground.
We are blessed.
who were a part of this project.
Our pastors shared a few thoughts.
We sang together.
It was such a special time.
Thanking and praising God for what He has done.
A reminder of our sweet Cora’s life.
And then we celebrated…
Megan was wonderful and hosted the three girls all weekend.
I LOVED meeting these ladies who have invested so much time and love into our lives.
I am so glad they are not strangers anymore.
Thanks to so many people.
We would have never imagined that this beautiful playground would be the end result.
The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.
Thank you Megan for capturing this day in pictures for us.
On Sunday we watched as 341 balloons floated up to heaven.
That is how many days Cora was here with us.
What a blessing those days were.
341 days that were so full of purpose.
Cora’s Playground dedication was horribly heartbreaking
and wonderful all at the same time.
I couldn’t stop the tears as I desperately wanted Cora to be there with us.
But I was amazed once again by God’s love and faithfulness.
We were surrounded by so many people.
Dear friends and family.
And some amazing new friends.
So supported and loved.
I am still trying to process it all.
I will share more soon.
“Sorrow is one of the things lent, not given.
Joy is given; sorrow is lent.
Sorrow is lent to us for just a little while
that we may use it for eternal purposes.
Then it will be taken away and everlasting joy
will be our Father’s gift to us, and the Lord God
will wipe away all tears…”
A sweet reminder from a sweet friend.