a fairy princess.
My little niece Ellie came to stay with me for two days last week. She even spent the night. She is so sweet. I really enjoyed having her around. She would just follow me around and help me do things. She talked a lot too. I loved having someone to talk to. Oh, and she ALWAYS wanted to wear her princess outfit. ALL DAY. She actually brought along two. It was fun. It made me miss Cora so much though. All the things that I did with Ellie–those were the things that I had dreamed about doing with Cora this spring and summer. Just hanging out. Together. I miss the noise and joy that a child brings to your house. I miss that so much.
Ellie called everything in our house Cora’s. I LOVED
that. I loved how Cora was still such a part of our family to her. She wanted to go in Cora’s room, read Cora’s books, play with Cora’s toys, take a bath in Cora’s bathtub, and blow Cora’s bubbles.
She told me that she was going to blow some bubbles to baby Cora up in heaven
. With tears in my eyes I told her that I thought that baby Cora would love to get bubbles from her. She blew them as high as she could.
The day was filled with lots of tears, but good tears. Tears because of all the wonderful memories I have with Cora. Tears because I miss her smiles and noises filling our home. Tears because I miss feeling like a mom. Tears because Cora wasn’t there to have a sleepover and play princess with her cousin Ellie. And tears because Cora wasn’t here to meet her newest cousin, Esther Marie.
My sister-in-law had a little girl last week. Ellie stayed with us because her parents were in the hospital with her new baby sister. The emotions we were feeling when we heard about Esther and saw her for the first time were so hard to deal with. We were feeling such joy that Bill and Olivia were blessed with a healthy little girl. Truly a precious gift from the Lord. But we were filled with such sadness as we remembered the joy that overwhelmed us when Cora was born. The reality that she is not here for us to hold and love hit again. Bill and Olivia were so sweet and understanding. They told us we didn’t need to come to the hospital because they knew it would be too hard. It was the same hospital where Cora was born. It is so hard to balance such a joyful thing with the deep sadness that our hearts are still feeling.
Thanks Bill and Olivia for letting us spend time with Ellie. Thank you for being so understanding and crying with us even during this joyful time in your lives. Esther is precious. She is so blessed to be a part of your family. We love you!