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about me

It is hard to know what to tell you about myself. Do I tell you about my amazing husband…the one I am so blessed to walk through life with? Do I tell you about how I grew up as a city girl and now am learning (very slowly) how to be a farm girl? Do I tell you about my former years of teaching little kindergartners?  Do I tell you that I love photography, crafting, sewing, antiquing and decorating? Do I tell you that I am a mom to one beautiful daughter in heaven and two awesome little boys here on earth? There was a time when my life seemed pretty perfect. Everything was going just as I had planned as we welcomed our first daughter Cora into our family and I began my full-time job of  stay-at-home mom (best job ever!). I felt so blessed and was loving life. What I didn’t know was that there was a storm coming.
My life was rocked to the core when our precious Cora was diagnosed with cancer and just 17 days later was called home to her Heavenly Father. Life doesn’t seem so perfect anymore. In fact, there are many days when life is just plain hard. I have questioned God and His plan for my family more than I ever had before. I have kicked and screamed and felt sorry for myself as I trudge through these days of missing my baby girl. But through that dark, dark time in my life God has been so faithful. His love and comfort has been truly indescribable. And He has even shown me that I can still live abundantly.
I’m sure you are probably thinking that I am not the person to talk about living abundantly. I totally agree. You see, there have been many days over the past three years that I really didn’t feel much like a mom anymore, or a grieving mom or sad mom at best. And since my boys have been born, there are many days that I feel like a mom who has no idea what she is doing again. A mom who lives abundantly seemed like a stretch. But the Lord has asked me to journey down a road that I would have never dreamed of; a road that I definitely would never have chosen. And as I struggle down this road He is teaching me so much more about Himself. And that is how this life theme of “live abundantly” came to be. Not because I am an amazing mom or because I have an amazing story to tell, but because He has done and continues to do an amazing work in my life through my sorrow. In a book I recently read, the author challenged its readers to look in their lives for the victory. This is my story of victory. The Lord has shown me that even a mom who has lost her precious daughter can live an abundant life through the power of the Cross.  My story is a grief story, a story of learning to trust God through death and pain, and a story that has involved so many tears. But it is also a story of restored joy and learning to live abundantly in all circumstances. John 10:10 says, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” I looked this verse up in several versions to see what they said about living abundantly. One version said “more and better life than they ever dreamed” (The Message). Another version said, “ in abundance, to the full, till it overflows” (Amplified Bible). That’s the kind of abundant life I want to live. It is my prayer that He would use these Truths that I have been standing firm on to encourage you in wherever you are at today.
This blog is my story of living abundantly. It is the story of my day-to-day being the mom to my two sweet boys while I long for the day when we will be reunited with their sister again. I am a mom seeking to live for eternity. Living with a hope of something better than this life.
  • Mary Ann - Jess….I have learned so much by reading your blog. I just today read your “about” and I am in tears thinking about you. I find strength in you and find myself wanting to be a better person because of you. I am coming up on the anniversary of when my sweet husband passed away (Aug 12th). Just 5 months later I lost my loving and wonderful father; just 7 weeks after that I lost my precious dear mother. 7 months later I wondered if I could simply get out of bed and try to go to work or be able to put one foot in front of the other. But life does go on and I’ve commented on your blog already that I agree, life is not perfect or what we planned but sometimes it surprises us. My son turned his life completely around in a good way, married his cute wife and they had my little grandson who is now 2. I lost 3 but gained 3. I love the Lord and all that His life means to me. He died for me and made it possible for me to be with all my family again someday. We don’t share the same religion but I think we both have a strong faith and desire to do the right things and be the best we can be in spite of challenges and heartache. Our stories are not the same nor are they unique. I know of many other women who have had such hard and difficult challenges but my story has made me more compassionate, more kind, ready to help more, and able to see things in a much more clearer and different light. Keep inspiring others and being such a good mom and wife. I love your family although it is only through your blog. My prayers are that you will have happiness and joy in your life always. Thank you my blogger friend for being you!!ReplyCancel

  • Carol M Fisher - Jess my daughter Terri has been following you for a long time. We are life “warriors”, moms. I have ten grandchildren and I have been married 52 years. The journey is always exciting and some times its a roller coaster ride of joys and sorrows. But I do know this, God is faithful. He is my source for everything in my life. When life gets so painful I don’t want to walk another step, He helps me over the rough patches and makes my way bearable.
    I don’t think anyone ever gets over the loss of a child. You will always have a place in your heart that aches for that baby. She is safe now, pain free, no more struggles for her, your real angel. Some day you will hold her again. Just thank God for the time she was here. Our children never really belong to us anyways. God just gives them to us to raise and love and help them grow. Every day we have them is a gift. So just love your boys, praise God for your life and treasure each and every moment that you have with them.
    I enjoyed reading your story, just knowing that you love the Lord and that you have seen heart aches and pain but that you are using your faith to carry on! You go girl!!
    Carol FisherReplyCancel

  • Peggy - I came to your page purely by accident, and began to read. How funny when people are put in your path. You and I are very different, our struggles so different, but the need to continue on despite is strong. I’m struggling really tough and hope that with His help and direction I will get through, but just knowing someone else carries pain but trusts in the promise helps me. Thank you.ReplyCancel

    Jess Reply:

    Peggy-So thankful you stopped by too. I am so sorry you are struggling. It is hard to know what to do with deep pain, isn’t it? But I pray that you would take it to Jesus. He loves you so much and longs for you to allow him to carry you through whatever you are facing right now. He is waiting for you, Peggy. His grace is truly sufficient. Where I stand today after losing my daughter is truly a testimony to God’s strength in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:8-10). Cling to Jesus!

    • Jess - Peggy-So thankful you stopped by too. I am so sorry you are struggling. It is hard to know what to do with deep pain, isn’t it? But I pray that you would take it to Jesus. He loves you so much and longs for you to allow him to carry you through whatever you are facing right now. He is waiting for you, Peggy. His grace is truly sufficient. Where I stand today after losing my daughter is truly a testimony to God’s strength in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:8-10). Cling to Jesus!ReplyCancel