I am having a hard time believing it is December. Part of me is excited because that means Baby Mac will be here so soon. Part of me is scared because I know our lives are about to change again–even though it is going to be a welcome change. Part of me is so sad because my heart doesn’t feel in the “Christmas spirit”. I don’t want to face Christmas without Cora. But for the most part I am completely overwhelmed by all of these emotions. I am completely overwhelmed by everything that we will face this December.
Joel is always so wise and reminds me to take each day at a time. God will provide the strength that I need to get through each day, no matter which emotion I am facing. So that is what I am trying to do. This December is going to be so different. But because of His mercy and grace I will make it…one day at a time.
So, for today…
I spent the morning at Bible study surrounded by a group of women who have been so supportive and understanding as I have walked through loosing Cora this year. We are reading a great book on marriage. It is incredibly challenging to me as a wife and makes me so thankful for my sweet hubby.
I brought Joel some lunch out in the field. Like any good farm wife I picked it up from Subway.
I spent the afternoon finishing up my Etsy orders. Everything is in the mail! Your Christmas items should be arriving soon. Please let me know if I overlooked anything. My pregnancy brain has been a little forgetful lately.
And I got out my first Christmas decoration. I don’t think that I am going to decorate much for Christmas. Joel and I usually get a real Christmas tree but I think we are going to skip that this year. Partially because it is too hard and partially because the baby will be here shortly after Christmas. We have so many Christmas memories with Cora that just are too hard to do by ourselves this year.
I bought this advent calendar at an after Christmas sale last year. I love it and thought it would be so fun to use with Cora this year. I was so sad to find it, knowing that she wasn’t here to share in the excitement with me, but just had to get it out. I thought she would have loved opening the little doors with me each day.
So, I have been trying to think of ways to “celebrate” differently this year. I think I am going to put a verse in each door for Joel and I to read each day. A reminder of why we can still have JOY this Christmas season even without Cora here with us. We can rejoice in our Savior who was born so that we can have LIFE. What an incredible gift.
One day at a time…
I’ve already almost made it through the first day of December.