I have never reflected on the past year and anticipated the year to come as much as I did when 2010 rolled over to 2011. I have been praying about what God has in store for me and my family this year. I know very well that we don’t always know what lies ahead in the year to come. Sometimes there are unexpected joys and sometimes there are unexpected sorrows. I’d like to tell you that I know exactly what this year holds, but I don’t. What I do know is that each day that the Lord gives me this year is a gift. I know that I don’t want this year to “just happen”. I know that I don’t want to waste these precious days. I know that I want to be intentional.
As I thought about my goals and priorities for this year I kept coming back to how I really needed to work on being intentional in all of those areas. I want to be intentional in my time with the Lord everyday. I want to be intentional in my prayer life. I want to be intentional in filling my mind with Truth. I want to be intentional in how I love and respect Joel. I want to be intentional in how I love and teach and discipline Levi. I want to be intentional in how I manage my time as a stay-at-home mom. I want to be intentional in creating order and a peaceful atmosphere in my home. I want to be intentional in my relationships with family and friends. I want to be intentional in showing God’s love to those around me. I want to be intentional in continuing to share my story.
I could go on and on. But when I think about all the areas in my life that I need to be intentional in…all the areas that I need to improve on…all the areas I need to grow in…it gets overwhelming. It makes me want to quit right now. Thankfully, even though I will fail miserably many times, I don’t have to do it on my own. In fact, I can’t do this on my own. What a relief since it is only January and I have many months to go! This being intentional thing is going to take some major discipline on my part. It is going to mean laying aside some things that I would rather do, to invest in the people and priorities God has placed in my life. But as I seek God, he will give me the strength I need to live intentionally. Wouldn’t it be great if I got to the end of the year and could put a check in the box that meant I learned to be intentional!? Unfortunately, it doesn’t work like that. Just like walking through grief, learning to be intentional is going to be a lifelong journey of allowing the Lord to work in me.