two years later
That is how we feel two years later.
Thank you for remembering with us.
Thank you for your cards, texts, e-mails, comments, and calls.
Thank you for taking the time to share how the Lord has used Cora to change you.
What a blessing to hear how God continues to use our sweet Cora’s life…
even two years later.
I love these words from a sweet friend…
The love of a parent is a powerful thing.
The love of your Father is an almighty thing.
Truly, Cora Paige has been a messenger of her loving God.
Tuesday was tough. The days leading up to Tuesday were really tough too. It is amazing how all of a sudden the tears just come again. A reminder of the days when I didn’t think my tears would ever end. As much as I would love to only remember the happy memories, I remember the horrible ones too. It is impossible to not be reminded of what was happening during those 17 days we were in the hospital with Cora. It is impossible to not be reminded of how sick my baby was. It is impossible to not be reminded of the surgeries, test results, and hard conversations with doctors that took place. It is impossible to not be reminded of the intense feelings of pain that we felt as we said goodbye.
And yet as we continue to grieve, I am reminded of our sweet Cora Paige who truly was and continues to be a messenger of her loving God. She has forever changed my life and has touched so many other lives as well. I am reminded that God has a purpose in my pain, even though I don’t always understand. I am reminded that two years later, He still understands my tears and offers me great hope and comfort. I am reminded that my Heavenly Father loves Cora more than I ever could and in His sovereignty had a perfect plan for her short life.
Yes, I still grieve.
Yes, I still cry.
Yes, I still miss my baby as desperately as I did two years ago.
Yes, I still struggle to let go of my plans and dreams for Cora and our family.
Yes, this time of year may always be difficult for me as I remember.
Yes, it is just as hard for Joel as it is for me.
But we hold on to HOPE.
We rejoice that our Cora is with Jesus.
And we cling to our Great Comforter.
So, we made it through another anniversary. Honestly I feel so much relief. It is so hard to know what to do or say or feel on those days. Nothing seems right. Nothing feels right. Levi probably wondered why in the world his mama was squeezing him so tight on Tuesday. Someday he will understand that his big sister forever changed his mama. She is the reason why I treasure each moment. And for that I am so grateful.