August 18, 2011.
The day I turn the big 3-0.
I know that this day…the milestone of reaching your 30’s…is a hard day for many to face. I have been thinking a lot this week about what turning thirty means for me in my own life. I could be sad about exiting my 20’s. A lot of great things have happened in my 20’s…I got married, graduated from college, got my first job, moved into my first house, birthed two sweet babies (almost three), and so much more. I could be depressed about the thought of getting older. But lets be real. It is inevitable, right? I could be disappointed about where I am today in life as a thirty year old. Maybe it is not where I expected or hoped to be. I definitely never dreamed that this would be “my story”. But today, instead of sulking around about my growing age, I want to choose gratitude. I want to be thankful for thirty.
This summer I participated in a Bible study on gratitude. I never really thought of myself as an ungrateful person, but the Lord really uncovered some ugly places in my heart as I studied what His Word says about gratitude. And man…sometimes I can be a whiner.
God’s goodness and faithfulness are written all over the past thirty years of my life. Each day has been a gift. Some of those days have been filled with joy. Some of those days have been filled with extreme pain…days that I would have given back in a heartbeat if I would have been given the choice. But I know that regardless of what I was feeling, the Lord was using the events of that particular day to orchestrate something beautiful in my life. I may not see the beauty now. I may never understand. But I know that He is working in my life for my good and for His glory.
So, what am I thankful for at thirty?
I am thankful for the family God placed me in.
I am thankful for godly parents who loved me unconditionally and pointed me to the Lord.
I am thankful for great brothers and a dear sister who are now some of my best friends.
I am thankful for a fifth grade teacher who opened my eyes to my desperate need for a Savior.
I am thankful for God’s grace.
I am thankful for the friends God has placed in my life.
I am thankful for an incredible man and godly husband who chose me to walk through life with.
I am thankful for new family, in-laws, who support and encourage me.
I am thankful for my precious Cora who first made me a mama and changed my life forever.
I am thankful for sweet Levi who the Lord used to restore my joy and make me laugh again.
I am thankful for the little boy still growing inside of me who reminds me of the life that God continues to bring to my family even in the face of death.
And I am thankful for so much more.
That doesn’t make thirty sound so bad, does it?
As I look to the future I am confident in God’s continued faithfulness in my life. I can’t help but be grateful that turning thirty brings me closer to eternity with my Savior. I can’t wait to be in the presence of Jesus and I can’t wait to see my Cora again. It will be truly awesome. And even without all of those blessings I listed above, the hope that I have for the future because of my relationship with Jesus is enough. He is enough.
I am uncertain of what the next chapters in my life will hold. But what I am certain of is how my story will end. I am certain that I am a child of the King. And that gives me my identity…not turning thirty. I know that each day the Lord gives me past today, He is giving me for a reason. I don’t know exactly what big things I want to accomplish in my thirties (right now I am just focusing on having this baby!!), but I know that I don’t want to go through the rest of my life haphazardly. I want to make the most of each day. I want to live life with purpose. And I want to daily choose gratitude out of the overflow of a truly grateful heart.
So today I am choosing to be thankful.
Thankful for thirty.