A new year…2012. My mind is racing with resolutions, goals, and hopes for a new year. I love the idea of a fresh start, but being the perfectionist that I am, I am kicking myself for not having a list of goals all written out and ready to start on January 1st. And now it is January 2nd and I feel like I am behind already!
Last night was a little wake up call for me as we started the new year. A reminder of what is important. A reminder of the Rock in whom I need to be constantly grounding my life in. A few moments of perspective.
We spent the evening celebrating Levi’s birthday surrounded by family. My baby boy is TWO today! I love birthdays. We never got to celebrate a birthday with our sweet girl, so the two years we have been able to celebrate of Levi’s life have been such a gift…and I like to make a big deal of it! Levi was so excited for his birthday which made it even more fun to plan a special party just for him. Our house was filled with party decorations, noise, laughter, and lots of cousins eating way too much sugar. I went to bed completely exhausted but with a heart full of joy as I thanked God for my sweet two year old boy.
At 2:30 in the morning Joel and I awoke to Griffin choking in his bassinet. We both jumped out of bed and I picked him up. It seemed like he was having a really hard time breathing. My kids have had respiratory infections before but this seemed so different. We have a breathing machine so we gave him a treatment and it seemed to help a little. He still sounded pretty bad so we called the ER and talked to the pediatrician on call. I prayed that the Lord would make it very clear to us whether we should go ahead and take Griffin to the ER or see a big improvement in his breathing and stay home. One of those moments when you need wisdom…and you need wisdom fast. Thankfully, after the pediatrician’s guidance, his breathing slowed down, he relaxed, and went to sleep. He is doing so much better today. Thank you, Jesus. Talk about scary. It is during those panicky moments when my mind flashes through moments of being in the hospital with Cora. If I’m not careful I think of the worst. If I’m not careful I fail to trust God. As I struggled to calm down and go back to sleep, I had to remind myself to keep my mind fixed on Him.
So…in just a few hours we went from such joy and celebration to fear and wondering if we would be spending the rest of the night in the ER. Our circumstances can change so fast, even in the comfort of our own home. This morning I was paging through a journal I have kept this past year. I wanted to remind myself of the things the Lord had taught me in 2011. I came across these words I had written down from Psalm 62:
My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken…
Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation…
Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge…
One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard: that you, O God are strong, and that you, O Lord, are loving.
I needed to hear those words this morning. And I need to write those words on my heart as I look forward to all that God has in store for me and my family this coming year. Whatever this year holds I can be sure of this:
God is the Rock that I want to stand on as we plunge into 2012. I had big plans for today. A house to clean, Christmas decorations to put away, blog posts to write, goals to begin, and a birthday to celebrate. But instead we ate lots of leftover cupcakes to celebrate Levi’s birthday and I held Griffin as much as I could. I was just so grateful for my boys…nothing else on my to-do list seemed to be as important as spending time with them.
I think I am ready for 2012…and I guess if I’m not I’d better get ready because we are two days into it already! I want to choose to find security and stability in my Rock. I want to rest in the One who loves me and in whom my hope is found. I want to find strength for each day of 2012 in Him alone…no matter what the day holds.
And just in case you are wondering…
There is lots to catch you up on here at The Macs. You can look forward to these upcoming posts: Griffin at 3 months, Christmas, Levi turns two, Levi’s second birthday, a little progress on Griffin’s room, journaling for my boys, and maybe a few thoughts on some goals I have for the year. And if there is something you are wanting to know…leave a comment and maybe I’ll answer your question in an upcoming post too.
Happy New Year!