Good thing I didn’t make any promises about starting to blog again…because obviously that didn’t happen. Ha!
So…JJ Heller was here for a women’s conference and I couldn’t go. It killed me! My family and a few friends went and they were super sweet (haha!) and texted me pictures of themselves and videos of JJ Heller leading worship so I could see what I was missing while I was at a family reunion. My sister told me I had to listen to Who You Are. It’s one of my new favorites now…actually the whole Loved album is so good.
I love this song because God has been teaching me the importance of knowing who God is and trusting His Word over my emotions in big ways over the past five years. When Cora died I remember so often crying out through my tears…God, what are you doing? I never came up with answers that made sense to me or made the pain go away, but I came to a point where I could rest in knowing who God is and that I could trust His Father’s heart even when I couldn’t make sense of what was happening in my life. It was the peace amidst the storm.
This past week there has been a reason for my absence from this little blog. The day of Griffin’s birthday party I got the worst strep throat I have ever had. It seriously knocked me out for a week and my throat still hurts a little. Joel got strep throat last week too…right in the middle of corn harvest. We were quite the pathetic parenting pair. Thankfully neither of the boys got it! I was just thinking we were finally going to be able to go back to normal this week when last night Joel told me half his face was numb and drooping. That gives you something to worry about for sure! Long story short, he has Bell’s palsy. Don’t get me wrong, I can’t even begin to tell you how grateful we are that it is nothing worse. So, so grateful. But as I start this week having to watch my husband deal with Bell’s palsy and burdened by the many other struggles I see others facing around me I find myself again asking God…why? God, what are you doing?
I needed to hear this song again today.
It is so easy to fall into the temptation of doubting God’s goodness and wisdom. When we are overwhelmed and confused, when we are hurting, when we can’t make sense of the things that are happening in our lives, we can always fall back on what we know to be true about our God and what we’ve experienced of God in the past. He gives us a firm place to stand…safe in His loving arms.
I don’t know what you’re doing.
But I know who you are.
How abundant are the good things that you have stored up for those who fear you, that you bestow in the sight of all, on those who take refuge in you. Psalm 31:19